Twaddlitis: Emotions

Written in March 2004

Emotions

Tangled up in an all too human mess.
Emotions constantly moving, never rest.

Rejection
When a part of the center of your life
Betrays,
When there is no chance to mend what had gone astray,
You don’t want to spend the rest of your life with me.
What good am I?
What did I do wrong?
Why am I not good enough?
Why?

Pain
Seeing the family torn apart
Not able to stop it
Seeing the children struggle to understand
Not able to stop it
Seeing the dreams fly off to someone else
Not able to stop it
Shortness of breath
Stomach of lead
Mind racing at night
Sobbing uncontrollably
Not being able to stop it

Fighting
I will get back up on my feet.
Time will heal all so they say
True, but so far away
Getting the help I need.
One day at a time. One step at a time.
Be nice to yourself. All cliché’s, yet all true.
Several false starts
Then I met you.




Risk
I think I won’t be alone.
But the real world takes action, not thoughts.
And action brings exposure,
And exposure brings pain. Always?
Two wounded souls on the mend
Sparks fly.
Fire to burn?
Fire to warm?
How can I know?

Wondering
Am I healed? No, the journey has just Begun.
A struggle still to be won.
Do we like because we are liked?
Do we love because we are loved?
Is this a good thing?
How will I know?

Hope
The hope of finding a friend
A companion
A partner
To recharge, restore, explore
To make the Spirit sing
To Live

New futures
New dreams
New travels
New life

I Hope.




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