Rules For Men (continuing)

1. Never, ever, EVER assume a women is pregnant. She may be having contractions every two minutes, but the microscopic chance that is it really just heartburn or gas pains should prevent you from making the assumption. You have very little to gain and everything to lose.

2. Only go into a women's purse under extreme duress. Purses are actually small black holes that contain 1) more stuff than should be able to fit into that space, and (more importantly) 2) things that men just weren't meant to see. I am not talking about "feminine hygiene products" and the like. I am talking about things that will make you shake your head and get you in trouble if you ever mention it. Consider the reverse, she looks in your (toolbox, computer harddrive, whatever) and starts a sentence with "Why do you have...?" No good can come of any of it.